Let's get Medieval Bitche

It wouldn't be an understatement to say that every weekend there is a festival somewhere in Germany. However, we soon learned that all festivals resemble each other - the exception being a change of scenery. This isn't a bad thing, we love festivals, but we know that we aren't missing out if we cannot attend one. To change things, we decided to drive to France for a Medieval festival held in Citadelle de Bitche. We were ready to return to France after our one month traveling Metz-take. Bitche is a city in the Lorraine region just across the German border, a 45-minute drive away.

Walking up to the Citadelle, Medieval music could be heard echoing off the castle walls - albeit, I am a charlatan when it comes to the Medieval genre. This was more of an assumption based on the aptly named festival. The inviting trio had a lute, an unknown high-pitched instrument, and the ever-present jangle of a tambourine. We entered the castle through the main gate where we would start our day with a self-guided tour through the Citadelle - assisted by headphones and a period-piece movie on the history of Citadelle de Bitche. The film focused mainly on the Franco-Prussian war and the illusion of an indomitable fortress - it also featured a memorable birthing scene.

After construction in 17th century, the Citadelle was reinforced twice - most recently in 1740. Like most fortresses, the denizens believed their walls to be impenetrable - which was true until the Franco-Prussian war. As it turns out, Citadelle de Bitche has the illusion of a hillside fortification - at least from where we parked. However, the castle is poorly placed in a basin - thus, in 1870-1871, the Prussians bombarded the Citadelle walls with mortars from nearby hillsides until Commander Louis-Casimir Teyssier finally surrendered by order of the French government.

The most memorable scene of the movie was when Commander Teyssier delivered a baby in the barracks with echos of exploding mortars reverberating in the background. He held the newborn in his hands and said with great hope, "Wonderful, it is a boy...and he is well endowed." The Citadelle de Bitche tour ended atop the fortress where the main attractions of the festivities were located.

Here we enjoyed lunch accompanied with the glorious people watching that every Medieval festival provides. However, lunch proved to be a very complicated process, not in that we didn't understand the options of; meat, meat, meat, or meat. Rather, we had to exchange Euro for "Medieval coins" of indeterminable value - there was no writing the coins, nor was there a distinct size differential. Further, we had to take these coins to another stand and exchange them for tickets. Then the tickets were exchanged with the food stands to get a desired meal.

While eating lunch and pondering the complexities of the festival's currency system, we were conveniently centralized for the entertainment. It started with the village dolt walking around humoring (mostly scaring) the public with his uncanny resemblance of a hobgoblin-esque Danny DeVito harlequin. This was followed by a band and fire show. When the show drew to an end, we walked the rest of the castle grounds enjoying vendor stands and the petting zoo.

We were surprised to see that event participants truly played the part and live on castle grounds. There was a lone man sitting in a tent dressed in full regalia, but no more details to add aside from him sitting on a throne in a small tent suitable for a single chair...leering. On the other side of the makeshift village, there was a gentleman wielding a staff, practicing for some sort of combat that will ultimately never happen (although, I am not sure if civil unrest in this Medieval town is resolved with staff-wielding skills). As we left the festival, we even saw a dragon, well, maybe not a dragon, but a gecko.

Wonderful...a male gecko, and well endowed!!!

Who knew northeast France has geckos...?